It's been about a month since WrestleMania 31 and the tumultuous "RAW" that followed. The status quo has been changed and replaced with a new, similar status quo. Sunday night, we'll get Extreme Rules, the most "hardcore" pay-per-view of the year in the current, bloodless WWE. There should be plenty of good matches on the show, as well as some big question marks. So let's find out why we should be excited! And why we'll be getting EXTREEEEEEME.
Intercontinental Championship: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Bad News Barrett
Bad News Barrett vs. Neville
What am I looking at here? Sadly there will be no title defense by Daniel Bryan. WWE confirmed rumors that Bryan was not able to compete, issuing a statement that he will not be able to perform due to medical reasons. The last-second replacement is Neville, and the match will now take place on the Extreme Rules kickoff show.
Why you should care: It's a shame the Bryan vs. Barrett match wont take place, because the two could have tore the house down and potentially given us the match of the night. That said, Neville is a really solid replacement at late notice, and while fans wont be nearly as invested in the match there's a good chance Neville and Barrett will bring everything. They have conflicting styles, much like Bryan/Barrett would have been, but Neville has been getting a huge reaction from crowds since arriving from NXT. This will be a very fun match.
WWE Tag Team Championship: Tyson Kidd & Cesaro (c) vs. The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston)
What am I looking at here? After a long time in the woods, there are finally legitimate reasons to be excited about the tag team division again! Tyson Kidd and Cesaro are two very deserving champions who love cats, being strong and noise-canceling headphones. The New Day, meanwhile, are a group of individuals who were trying to be positive and fun-loving, but the crowd hated them so much that now they have to force themselves to be happy, or else they'll do something terrible. They clap so they won't snap.
Why you should care: The New Day have slowly been figuring out that they can cheat to win and it's one of the most joyous things happening in wrestling right now. The slow burn to them becoming full-blown bad guys is delectable and I intend to savor every moment of it. Meanwhile, Cesaro and Kidd will make sure that the match is terrific in the ring. I expect the champs to retain and for this to further enrage the New Day, who are barely clinging to sanity as it is.
Chicago Street Fight: Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper
What am I looking at here? Neither of these men are FROM Chicago, but Extreme Rules will take place IN (the greater) Chicago (area), so that's why it's a Chicago street fight. Makes sense. This match will probably not actually take place in the street, though. ALTHOUGH WHO KNOWS. Dean Ambrose is a crazy guy with greasy hair and Luke Harper is a different kind of crazy guy with (assumedly) smelly hair. They decided to fight because they're both crazy and like to fight. Works for me!
Why you should care: Dean Ambrose has absolutely no regard for his body and will do whatever it takes to have a fun, interesting match. He's like Jeff Hardy, but his offense looks like it actually hurts. Also, less paint. Luke Harper, meanwhile, is quietly one of the best wrestlers in the world. I'm very much looking forward to these guys hitting each other with foreign objects and you should be, too. It's a toss-up as to who wins this one, but it doesn't really matter. You're going to see some mayhem.
Last Man Standing: Roman Reigns vs. Big Show
What am I looking at here? Roman Reigns, chiseled Samoan god with eyes of purest watery grey, took offense to being thrown into an English-style car by Big Show, who is the world's largest athlete. There's only one way to settle this: HITTING EACH OTHER UNTIL ONE PERSON CAN'T GET UP.
Why you should care: The matchup isn't anything new, but just like in the Chicago Street Fight, expect some really impressive set pieces that Reigns will use to make sure Show is incapacitated. It'll probably be better than Big Show throwing John Cena into a spotlight, too. I'm expecting to see Reigns Superman Punch Big Show through a brick wall, or spear him off a balcony into a dumpster or something. It's going to be the best kind of dumb. Let's face it: that's why we watch.
Kiss Me Arse Match: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler
What am I looking at here? No, you're not misreading that. This is the first ever "Kiss Me Arse" match. First ever, because the others have been "Kiss My Ass" matches. New mohawk-and-tentacle-beard Sheamus dislikes Ziggler so much that he's going to have him kiss his bare, lily-white bottom. Because that's what you do when you hate someone, right? That's how things work?
Why you should care: Uh ... the match should be good? Also we're going to get to see Sheamus' butt, because there's no way Ziggler wins this one. And we all want to see Sheamus' hindparts, right? Who's with me? Anyone?
Divas Championship: Nikki Bella (c) vs. Naomi
What am I looking at here? Naomi has had ENOUGH of being the nice, happy wife of one of the Usos and she's out to take what's hers. Which is presumably Nikki Bella's Divas Championship. Nikki is cocky, because she's the dang champion and also she's beaten Naomi before, so why should she be scared?
Why you should care: Naomi has been on fire since she got her new mean streak, which may not bode well for Nikki. Expect a longer-than-usual and better-than-you-might-expect Divas match here, with all signs pointing to a new champion. I'm all-in for the reign of Naomi.
United States Championship Russian Chain Match: John Cena (c) vs. Rusev
What am I looking at here? Mother Russia lovin' Rusev lost his U.S. title to Cena at WrestleMania and now he wants it back, dang it. Cena has been defending the title every week on "RAW" since winning it, which may be taking its toll. To make matters worse, this is a Russian Chain Match. The deadliest type of chain there is.
Why you should care: Two enormous beefy dudes at the top of their game are going to whomp on each other with a big chain. Not sure what else you could possibly want out of wrestling, or out of life. Expect Cena to win with a chain-assisted STF, which will be similar to the way he won one of the best matches he's ever had, ever.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Cage Match: Seth Rollins (c) vs. Randy Orton
What am I looking at here? Randy Orton defeated Seth Rollins at WrestleMania, mere hours before Rollins cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase and won the world title. So Orton feels like he's got Rollins' number. He's also requested that the match take place in a steel cage, where (ostensibly) Rollins can't scurry away and his friends in the Authority can't help him. Cages are pretty easy to climb, though, so I don't expect that to really hold water. Rollins, meanwhile, has added a stipulation to this match where Orton will lose if he uses his finisher, the RKO. Pretty sneaky, Seth!
Why you should care: These two men had a spectacular match at WrestleMania, so I'm looking forward to seeing what they can do in a world title cage match in a main event. Expect a lot of shenanigans and a lot of Rollins taking bumps that look absolutely terrifying from great heights. I honestly expect Orton to get caught up in the heat of the moment and RKO a jumping-from-the-top-of-the-cage Rollins at the end. Either that, or lots of Authority monkey business will lead to Orton getting screwed out of the title.