We're just minutes away from the beginning of "LeBron: The Decision," which ostensibly will include 59 minutes of people prattling on and one minute of LeBron actually making his decision. Because I wanted to torment myself further, I decided to watch the one-hour SportsCenter that preceeded the one-hour filibuster before the ultimate decision. Here's a quick recap of what happened.
- A montage of everything that happened from May 13 until today, as if THAT was the beginning of this whole saga.
- Linda Cohn prattling on.
- Chris Broussard going on to say he's "80 percent" sure LeBron is going to Miami, because of what Broussard's sources are telling him. Broussard's conclusion, using logic from his own head? He's staying in Cleveland.
- A bunch of dumb radio callers from Miami, including one who said a LeBron/Chris Bosh/Dwyane Wade team will bring back the "glory days" of the 1980s, when Miami didn't even have a professional basketball team.
- A phone call with Brian Windhorst, which was informative, and a phone call with Miami Herald columnist Israel Gutierrez, which was not. Note to ESPN people: don't ask a newspaper columnist about how fans think. That's not what they do best.
- An entertaining package of random sports personalities commenting on LeBron's decisions. This includes Geno Auriemma saying that if LeBron James was a real man, he'd stay in Cleveland. Sorry, I can't help but find this kind of funny, considering Auriemma is a women's basketball coach. (I promise I'm just loling there, please don't take it seriously). It also includes Jim Leyland saying he doesn't care about LeBron, adding "I'm interested in where Shaq goes." Me too, Jim. Me too.
- A bunch of dumb radio callers from Chicago, including one that complained about the Kirk Hinrich trade.
- A bunch of dumb radio callers from New York, including one who says he doesn't want LeBron anyway.
- Some reports from ESPN's "field reporters," one of which included George Smith making an "unscientific guess" that it's unlikely he's going to the Bulls. Thanks, George. Way to get that information.
You're welcome, everyone.